Thursday, March 27, 2008

Do tell........

Hmmmmmm......I can't tell you what on earth ever possessed me to buy this book, but I can tell you how thoroughly depressed I now am since I've discovered that I could be featured in the "Don't" section of just about every chapter .....seems I'm committing quite a few faux pas ...... for example .....


......hmmmmm.....eyeglass necklace ... you mean like this ....














....and then there's this suggestion....




.....uh oh ..... ugly orthopedic shoes? Well, FIRST of all SOME of us have some achin' dawgs and the thought of anything without some decent arch support is just plain AGONY ..... and besides, I think my "orthopedic shoes" are cute!














.....oh wait...and what was that part about "nothing ages you like wearing gym sneakers outside of the gym"?...... you mean these .....
.....my work shoes that I wear EVERY day .....and not anywhere near a gym! (I also wear them to the post office, bank, and grocery store because when I stop at these places on my way home from work, I still have them on!)

.....OK, next we have ...
......ummmmm.....pale, hairy , flaky legs ..... I'll spare you the picture but trust me, I scored a 3 out of 3 on this one!

.....moving on .....
......uh oh .... elastic waistbands .....









you mean like this?
......what can I say .... work pants .....gross, I know, but practical just outweighs fashion .....




.....and then ...
.........ummmmmmm....looking like you didn't try at all ..........ummmmm.... you mean like this?

(note SNEAKERS being worn outside of the gym, and those are elastic waist pants ..... and how about that school bus YELLOW slicker (well, it's supposed to rain today....)

...oh, wait, now you can see the whole yellow slicker .... pretty slick,huh? (the author of the book will have to add another chapter ... "Nothing ages you like dressing like a 5th grader!"

Well, seeing that I'm definately a fashion/beauty emergency, Lucy made a call ...
... she was able to get me in to see Pheobe Emerson (you know Phoebe Emerson's Charm School..... Lucy and Ethel went and they swore it did wonders ..... so click here and you too can have a lesson in "charm" from Phoebe Emerson's Charm School!)

Toodles,
Mary Anne (aka Mare)

11 comments:

Lisa Boyer said...

Hey! You look better already! You're a stunner in that last picture--I'm sure glad you read that book. Holy cow, you look so much better than that cover lady--you should write your own book!

Kristin said...

ok, I want to be in the "don't" section of the book because I *need* those plaid clogs? Where did you get them? I won't tell the fashion police, I promise!

Jeannie said...

Well, according to that book, I am now older than my mother! I like your look, especially the slicker and orthodic shoes - those are so cute. Maybe we can start a don't section revolution! Cheers.

The Southern Mom said...

But...I can get my elastic waisted pants down quicker when I have to run to the potty...is that wrong? (TMI?)

Tracey in CT said...

Well I guess I'm just one big don't! I watch What Not To Wear
and I'll tell ya, what they have those gals spend on ONE outfit is less than my clothing budget for the entire YEAR. Please. Jeans and a T-Shirt and sneakers is just moe practical for us Mom's and I look like I didn't try because I didn't...because I'm lucky if I have time to take a shower, forget about accessorizing and applying makeup. Grrr...

Vallen said...

I have just resigned myself to being that lady with the black line covering her face in the "Don't" pictures.

CONNIE W said...

I think I better hide because I am betting the fashion police are looking for me...do I care? nope...lots of the clothes and hairstyles these days stink and I plan to keep on doin' my thing.

amelia said...

I like your blog.I don't know you.Will you look at mine?
http://hearts4farts.blogspot.com
sorry.Thanks!

Bonnie said...

You really know how to brighten my day! I just rolled with laughter at the book and pictures! Now I've sent it to one of my friends so she can giggle at your website, too! Of course, adding the charm school clip was too funny! We need more laughter like you give us! Thanks!

Nan said...

Wow! I had no idea just how OLD I am! LOL! I don't have the eyeglass necklace - I have to wear my specs all the time - but I do have the elastic waistbands and gym shoes. "Comfort, not fashion" is my motto!
I think you look adorable in your yellow slicker, by the way!

Scrappy said...

Mare, I'm here reading and laughing ! I agree with the girls. I too, according to the book, am older than my mom, have snickers and what we call 'pj pants' easier to go to the groceries store and wowww... am I worrying about what people think at 41 yo ??? No. I'm just rebelling even worse than my 15's, preparing to be an old lady with purple dress/red hat !!!!